Propaganda on the Triumvirate

[TimeDragon888]

Originally posted by Commander Xillian on 27 Feb 2009. Link here: http://surrealtwilight.com/viewtopic.php?p=263062#p263062

Propaganda on the Triumvirate

[The Projector begins to turn on, as the lights dim. A screen goes from black to green.]
Please stand for the Triumvirate Anthem. Failing to do so is Heresy. Heretics will be mutilated.

[The anthem plays for five hours. When it finally stops, everyone is allowed to sit. A voice begins to come from the speakers, and slow music plays.]

The Triumvirate. Beset on all sides by bots, Mingebags, n00bs, and Deathly Lobsters, It has stood as a bastion of hope for the good people of Surreal*Twilight for just over a few months.

[The Screen flashes to a Trio of Believers fighting off a numberless tide of bots.]

But, even in this dark time, there is hope. Three things stand by, to repel the Bot, Heretic, and the Mingebag.

[Screen shows the Gate of Three Keys]

Here, at the Ancient gate, swarms of Bots and N00bs are held at bay. Requiring three keys to open, the gate is indestructible, fed by the massive LOL! Energy generated by the devout followers.

[Screen shows a mass of fervent prayers, all hailing the Tri]

The Second line of Defense, are the Smiters. Fervent beyond limits, the Smiters shoot first, and ask questions never.

[The screen shows a single Smiter holding a young Child, using a massive Turtle Hammer to smash wave after wave of Mingebags.]

The Smiters also have many Branches. First, and most importantly, there is the Ordo Badasstus. These are the elite warriors, who have been reported to Punch Out Eldrich Evils in their spare time. Next, is the Ordo Smartassicus. This branch focuses on learning about the Heretic, the Mingebag, and the Bot.

[Screen changes to Head Inquisitor DayDreamer, talking to a pair of Scientist, standing over a deactivated bot]

Third, is the Ordo Magus-Dudeus. This order looks to refine the powers of LOL! and other strange things. They are renowned for their skills in Nuke-Level summoning Magic.

[Screen shows Official Smiter Aries observing massive Demon. There is a censor over it, to keep believers from exploding their own brains.]

Finally, there is the Ordo Funkitos. This order of Smiters specializes in the hunting and elimination of specific targets. They are renowned in their skill of Teh Headshotz.

[Screen shows Infiltrator Commander Xillian strapping himself into his armor, taking a moment to wave at the camera, smiling.]

Finally, the last bastion of hope in the Church, are the Great Gods themselves. Wstfgl, the Turtle God, is one of the first and oldest of the Tri. Next, is Time Dragon. A relatively unknown god, he remains on the Sidelines. Finally, is HH. The Great Buddha Fish in the Sky, HH is a green goddess. She is one of the more popular, and tends to be the Patron Goddess of Smiters, despite her gentile personality.

[The screen fades to black, and shows Commander Xillian sitting in a plastic chair, smiling]

Thank you for watching this Promotional video. Please stand for the Anthem once more.

[The Screen turns green once again, and the same caption appears.]

Stand for the anthem. Leavers will be branded as Heretics. Heresy is Punishable by torture and Mutilation/Damnation.