Home10 Easy Ways of Conquering S*T
Page 1 of 1
10 Easy Ways of Conquering S*T
TimeDragon888 Sat Aug 28, 2010 7:12 am
Originally posted by TimeDragon888 on 6 Feb 2009. Link here: http://surrealtwilight.com/viewtopic.php?p=256542#p256542
As all of you know, we have our very own Underground Top-Secret Base for plans on how to take over S*T. However, so as to accelerate the speed at which ideas are being generated, this sermon will be held to brief everyone on the general guidelines of forum conquering.
1. Kidnap ACK!, Tofu, Amaya and Syren Song/Willow Waters
This is the simplest method. As you know (or if you've been extremely blur), these four mentioned are all Administrators of S*T. What does this mean? It means that they have total control over the happenings of S*T. It is a simple task for someone in the US to hire Yoda, Darth Vader or anyone capable enough to sneak into these four Admins' houses, hold a lightsaber to their necks and force them to make the Church the main section of the forum.
2. Spam ACK!s inbox with request mails
Given the large amounts of members in our guild, it is a simple matter for each person to send multiple PMs, emails or instant messages involving messages such as:
"Dear ACK!, please make the Church of the Holy Triumvirate the main forum in S*T, or we will run over your dog with our brand new bicycle. Yes, even if you do not have a dog, this threat will still pertain to you, as we will buy a dog for you as a birthday present, kidnap it, and hold it as a hostage.
By the way, would you like to buy some WoW gold?"
With so many PMs arriving in her inbox at the same time, she will be unable to continue S*T's normal functioning, and will have no choice but to accede to our requests.
3. Nuke S*T to high heavens
This is the normal method that ancient people used. Since ancient people had all those strange philosophies and mythic sounding quotes, this MUST be a good method. The steps are simple. You do not have to use an actual nuke, though it is recommended. Anything that causes mass destruction or distraction will do. For example, Ultimate Aries can call upon his Elder Gods to devour the Student's Section. This will cause sufficient damage to the forum, forcing the Admins to agree to our demands.
4. Waiting and praying really hard
Of course, if you wait long enough, ANYTHING can happen. For example, a chance error in ACK!'s computer may cause the Church to become the main forum. This chance MAY be amplified if you pray for 27 hours a day while fasting throughout your prayer.
5. Hold a mass rebellion
Given the large number of believers in our religion, I believe that our contacts are many. Therefore, if everyone in the Church tells their contacts, and their contacts tell their contacts, and so on, and soon, our rebellion will be so big that ACK! will have to concede defeat.
6. Use some ancient power to mind control an Admin
Some of you already control many magical abilities even before joining the Church. Added with the might of LOL! magic, it just might be powerful enough to mind control the Admins from afar. However, this plan is quite risky, as sometimes the magic goes wrong, and before you know it, the new forum is called "Slutreal*Twitlight", and is painted bright red and green.
7. Bribe the relevant authorities
Money makes the world go round. It also makes the world go square. Or any three-dimensional shape you wish. Therefore, with enough money, ACK! will soon find a few policemen knocking at her door, charging her for "Not Acceding To The Demands Of Innocent Church-goers" or "Mistreatment Of Religious Fanatics".
8. Hack the mascot's accounts
With the correct program, you can hack into anyone's account. Of course, this does not include HH, who was a former mascot, because she wasn't a mindless puppet of the Admins. Once the account is successfully accessed, we will have COMPLETE CONTROL. Don't ask why we're hacking the mascot's account, and not the Admin's account. [size=50]We don't know either.[/size]
9. Hack the forum layout itself
Similar to number 8, the plan is simply to google "Hacking Tools", download the first link you see (even if it is a blatant virus) and use it to hack into Surreal*Twilight. After that, change everybody's avatar to that of a block of cheese (except for the Church members, of course). ACK! will have to concede defeat.
10. Unleash Hgdjvp
If you've read Bot Wars 1, you would know that Hgdjvp, the evil counterpart of Wstfgl, has enough power to completely destroy the forum. Of course, because he is not on our side, we simply kill him using the nailgun after he's finished destroying almost everything. Then we would have saved the day, and we get all the credit! They will have to give us some sort of reward, and ta da! Instant win.
10 Easy Ways of Conquering S*T
As all of you know, we have our very own Underground Top-Secret Base for plans on how to take over S*T. However, so as to accelerate the speed at which ideas are being generated, this sermon will be held to brief everyone on the general guidelines of forum conquering.
1. Kidnap ACK!, Tofu, Amaya and Syren Song/Willow Waters
This is the simplest method. As you know (or if you've been extremely blur), these four mentioned are all Administrators of S*T. What does this mean? It means that they have total control over the happenings of S*T. It is a simple task for someone in the US to hire Yoda, Darth Vader or anyone capable enough to sneak into these four Admins' houses, hold a lightsaber to their necks and force them to make the Church the main section of the forum.
2. Spam ACK!s inbox with request mails
Given the large amounts of members in our guild, it is a simple matter for each person to send multiple PMs, emails or instant messages involving messages such as:
"Dear ACK!, please make the Church of the Holy Triumvirate the main forum in S*T, or we will run over your dog with our brand new bicycle. Yes, even if you do not have a dog, this threat will still pertain to you, as we will buy a dog for you as a birthday present, kidnap it, and hold it as a hostage.
By the way, would you like to buy some WoW gold?"
With so many PMs arriving in her inbox at the same time, she will be unable to continue S*T's normal functioning, and will have no choice but to accede to our requests.
3. Nuke S*T to high heavens
This is the normal method that ancient people used. Since ancient people had all those strange philosophies and mythic sounding quotes, this MUST be a good method. The steps are simple. You do not have to use an actual nuke, though it is recommended. Anything that causes mass destruction or distraction will do. For example, Ultimate Aries can call upon his Elder Gods to devour the Student's Section. This will cause sufficient damage to the forum, forcing the Admins to agree to our demands.
4. Waiting and praying really hard
Of course, if you wait long enough, ANYTHING can happen. For example, a chance error in ACK!'s computer may cause the Church to become the main forum. This chance MAY be amplified if you pray for 27 hours a day while fasting throughout your prayer.
5. Hold a mass rebellion
Given the large number of believers in our religion, I believe that our contacts are many. Therefore, if everyone in the Church tells their contacts, and their contacts tell their contacts, and so on, and soon, our rebellion will be so big that ACK! will have to concede defeat.
6. Use some ancient power to mind control an Admin
Some of you already control many magical abilities even before joining the Church. Added with the might of LOL! magic, it just might be powerful enough to mind control the Admins from afar. However, this plan is quite risky, as sometimes the magic goes wrong, and before you know it, the new forum is called "Slutreal*Twitlight", and is painted bright red and green.
7. Bribe the relevant authorities
Money makes the world go round. It also makes the world go square. Or any three-dimensional shape you wish. Therefore, with enough money, ACK! will soon find a few policemen knocking at her door, charging her for "Not Acceding To The Demands Of Innocent Church-goers" or "Mistreatment Of Religious Fanatics".
8. Hack the mascot's accounts
With the correct program, you can hack into anyone's account. Of course, this does not include HH, who was a former mascot, because she wasn't a mindless puppet of the Admins. Once the account is successfully accessed, we will have COMPLETE CONTROL. Don't ask why we're hacking the mascot's account, and not the Admin's account. [size=50]We don't know either.[/size]
9. Hack the forum layout itself
Similar to number 8, the plan is simply to google "Hacking Tools", download the first link you see (even if it is a blatant virus) and use it to hack into Surreal*Twilight. After that, change everybody's avatar to that of a block of cheese (except for the Church members, of course). ACK! will have to concede defeat.
10. Unleash Hgdjvp
If you've read Bot Wars 1, you would know that Hgdjvp, the evil counterpart of Wstfgl, has enough power to completely destroy the forum. Of course, because he is not on our side, we simply kill him using the nailgun after he's finished destroying almost everything. Then we would have saved the day, and we get all the credit! They will have to give us some sort of reward, and ta da! Instant win.
TimeDragon888- Admin
- Posts : 68
Join date : 2010-08-28 -
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum